Topic: Official 4BangerJP Joke Thread

[chardrc]

so hard to read. yet so funny...mmm bacon..

[Jesse-James]

Right click and select view image.

[swatsniper1s1k]

Chuck Norris doesn't read books, he stares them down until he gets the information he needs.

Chuck Norris lost his virginity before his dad.

In the beginning God said, "Let there be light!" Chuck Norris said, "Say please."

another good chuck norris joke...

god calls in three possible replacements for his job, for he has to go climb mount everest. the three possibles are arnold schwartzenegger, mr. t. and chuck norris. god looks at
Arnold, and says well you were governor and the terminator, what else have you done well? poof, sends arnold to hell. Mr. T looks at god and says god you know i've always been a big
fan of the big g. poof god sends mr. t to hell. he turns to chuck norris and chuck norris roundhouse kicks god and says, "God you are sitting in my seat."

[Jesse-James]

"Dad At The Mall"


I took my dad to the mall the other day to buy some new shoes. We decided
to grab a bite at the food court.

I noticed he was watching a teenager sitting next to him. The teenager had
spiked hair in all different colors: green, red, orange, and blue. My dad
kept staring at him. The teenager would look and find him staring every
time.

When the teenager had enough, he sarcastically asked, 'What's the matter old
man, never done anything wild in your life?

Knowing my dad, I quickly swallowed my food so that I would not choke on his
response; knowing he would have a good one.

And in classic style he did not bat an eye in his response, 'Got drunk once
and had sex with a peacock. I was just wondering if you were my son.'   

[Jesse-James]

Peep Show

[gomi]

Peep Show

HAaahahAHaAaaa!!!!

[95yjman]

hahaha that rocks!

[Jesse-James]

A couple more for the past holiday....

[Jesse-James]

Post Turtle


While suturing a cut on the hand of a 75 year old Texas rancher, whose hand was caught in a gate while working cattle, the doctor struck up a conversation with the old man.

Eventually the topic got around to Obama and his bid to be our President.

The old rancher said, 'Well, ya know, Obama is a post turtle'.

Not being familiar with the term, the doctor asked him what a 'post turtle' was.

The old rancher said, 'When you're driving down a country road and you come across a fence post with a turtle balanced on top, that's a 'post turtle'.'


The old man saw a puzzled look on the doctor's face, so he continued to explain.

'You know he didn't get up there by himself, he doesn't belong up there, he doesn't know what to do while he is up there, and you just want to help the dumbass get down.'

[Hockey1]

Post Turtle


While suturing a cut on the hand of a 75 year old Texas rancher, whose hand was caught in a gate while working cattle, the doctor struck up a conversation with the old man.

Eventually the topic got around to Obama and his bid to be our President.

The old rancher said, 'Well, ya know, Obama is a post turtle'.

Not being familiar with the term, the doctor asked him what a 'post turtle' was.

The old rancher said, 'When you're driving down a country road and you come across a fence post with a turtle balanced on top, that's a 'post turtle'.'


The old man saw a puzzled look on the doctor's face, so he continued to explain.

'You know he didn't get up there by himself, he doesn't belong up there, he doesn't know what to do while he is up there, and you just want to help the dumbass get down.'

   

[nic99007]

 LMAO that is soooooo funny       

[Jesse-James]

Woman as explained by an engineer.

[Jesse-James]

[Mozman68]

Those aren't funny...they're to true to be funny...

[Jesse-James]

Little Sally came home from school and with a smile on her face and told her mother,

"Billy Brown showed me his willy today!"

Before the mother could raise a concern, Sally went on to say, "It reminded me of a peanut."

Relaxing with a hidden smile, Sally's mom asked, "Really small was it?"

Sally replied, "No...salty!"