I'll answer a few more of your questions and add a few comments / suggestions.............................................
First , .... you'd be better off with a factory service manual , the haynes manual doesn't do it for me , not even close . Order a factory manual while you are at the dealer buying new motor mounts.
Choose a machine shop which has a good reputation , you can then trust them to do the work properly and on time. Many machine shops will do a " machine package ' , this is , you deliver to them , your block , crank , rods and pistons , cylinder head , ............ they do all the cleaning , inspection , reconditioning and machining . Once they have that completed , you pick up the parts and assemble it yourself.
Once you finish dis-assembly , the cleaning and inspection of parts begins , based on your description of metal particles in the oil pan , there is a good chance the crank will need to be re-ground , if it's real bad ...... replaced.
The machine shop will make that decision at the time it is inspected and measured.
Head bolts can only be used twice.
Plan on replacing the following................... the machine shop should be able to supply every thing needed.
Timing chain and sprockets
Chain tensioner
Oil pump
Camshaft and lifters
Pushrods ( optional )
Rocker arms and pivots ( optional )
Valve springs ( optional )
Main bearings
Rod bearings
Freeze plugs
Pistons and rings
Plan on the machine shop doing the following.........
Hot tank block and cylinder head
Check all parts for cracks or defects
Recondition rods and install new pistons
Bore cylinders
Supply and install cam bearings
Resurface block and or cylinder head as reqd.
Grind crankshaft
Re-condition cylinder head as reqd.
The machine shop should be able to provide all necessary supplies at a competitive price , such as gaskets or any items required to finish up an engine rebuild , many even sell clutches , radiators , belts and hoses too ( hint) , when discussing the machine work and booking the job in , at the machine shop , inform them of your needs so the parts can be ready and picked up as a package with your freshly machined engine block and other parts.
I just went thru this on my 94 , replacing all wearing internal parts listed above , additionally , the water pump , the radiator and hoses , the exhaust system and O2 sensor , both engine mounts , a rebuilt distributor all got replaced at the same time.
This 94 was a hurtin unit when I brought it home , I'm no stranger to restoration , overhaul / rebuilds , having done it numerous times , being set up to do cylinderhead work at home helps too.
Here's the rebuilt long block just before being dropped back in ......
The cylinderhead ......... once I found one that wasn't cracked ! , ..... got re-conditioned here at home w/ three angle valve job and new springs , I lucked out and found a head that did not need valve guides. The grinding was done outside , it was a nice day , and the block , crank n' stuff was all laid out inside , the grinding work is kinda dirty.