Topic: Official 4BangerJP Joke Thread

[Jesse-James]

This is hilarious....

<a href="http://www.jibjab.com/v/247088" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer" class="bbc_link bbc_flash_disabled new_win">http://www.jibjab.com/v/247088</a>

[jcsanders79]

Funny.  Basically there are two democratic canditates and only one of them isn't absolutely SCARY!

[Jesse-James]

<a href="http://www.youtube.com/v/-8LiLJacKbs&amp;hl=en&amp;fs=1" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer" class="bbc_link bbc_flash_disabled new_win">http://www.youtube.com/v/-8LiLJacKbs&amp;hl=en&amp;fs=1</a>

[chardrc]

lol totaly owned... my boss actually radio for me to come into the office to see that video today at work... 

[jcsanders79]

Thats awsome!  For so many reasons!  Cocky SOB!!! 

[Jesse-James]

Several men are in the locker room of a golf club. A cell phone on a bench rings, and a man engages the hands free speaker-function, and begins to talk. Everyone else in he room stops to listen.

MAN: "Hello"
WOMAN: "Honey, it's me. Are you at the club?"
MAN: "Yes"
WOMAN: "I am at the mall now, and found this beautiful leather coat. It's only $500. Is it OK if I buy it?"
MAN: "Sure, go ahead if you like it that much."
WOMAN: "I also stopped by the Mercedes dealership, and saw the new models. I saw one I really liked."
MAN: "How much?"
WOMAN: "$60,000."
MAN: "OK, but for that price, I want it with the extended warranty."
WOMAN: "Great! Oh, and one more thing ...The house we wanted last year is back on the market. They're asking $450,000."
MAN: "Well, then go ahead and give them an offer, but just offer 400,000."
WOMAN: "OK. I'll see you later! I love you!"
MAN: "Bye, I love you, too."

The man hangs up. The other men in the locker room are looking at him in astonishment.
Then he asks: "Anyone know who this phone belongs to?" 

[TrailsLessTaken]

I was shopping at the local
supermarket where I selected:
A half-gallon of 2% milk,
A carton of eggs,
A quart of orange juice,
A head of romaine lettuce,
A 2 lb. can of coffee, and
A 1 lb. package of bacon.


As I was unloading my items on the conveyor belt
to check out, a drunk standing behind me watched as
I placed the items in front of the cashier.

While the cashier was ringing up the purchases,
the drunk calmly stated, 'You must be single.'
I was a bit startled by this proclamation, but I
was intrigued by the derelict's intuition, since I
was indeed single. I looked at the six items on the
belt and saw nothing particularly unusual about my
selections that could have tipped off the drunk to
my marital status.


Curiosity getting the better of me, I said: 'Well,
you know what, you're absolutely right. But how on
earth did you know that?'

The drunk replied, 'Cause you're ugly.'

[Mozman68]

okay...that's a good one....

[smashcoast]

Q: If 2 **** and 2 ******** are headed to the airport which one gets there first?

A: The 2 ********, they are doing 69 the entire time while the **** are still packing!

I was told this joke last thursday by the gay guy at work, he thought it was the funniest joke ever! I dont think it's that funny! Maybe you have to be gay to really like it?

[Mozman68]

Not sure if a gay guy finding it funny makes it any less offensive on a public board....edited for that reason only....fill in the blanks yourself.

[smashcoast]

Didnt mean to offend anyone!

[Mozman68]

You haven't as far as I know...but now there's no chance of it...

[TrailsLessTaken]

A first-grade teacher, Ms. Brooks, was having trouble with one of her students. The teacher asked, "Harry, what's your problem?"

Harry answered, "I'm too smart for the 1st grade. My sister is in the 3rd grade and I'm smarter than she is! I think I should be in the 3rd grade too!"

Ms. Brooks had had enough. She took Harry to the principle's office.

While Harry waited in the outer office, the teacher explained to the principal what the situation was. The principal told Ms. Brooks he would give the boy a test. If he failed to answer any of his questions he was to go back to the 1st grade and behave. She agreed.

Harry was brought in and the conditions were explained to him and he agreed to take the test.

Principal: "What is 3 x 3?"

Harry: "9."


Principal: "What is 6 x 6?"

Harry: "36."

And so it went with every question the principal thought a 3rd grader should know.

The principal looks at Ms. Brooks and tells her, "I think Harry can go to the 3rd grade"

Ms. Brooks says to the principal, "Let me ask him some questions."

The principal and Harry both agreed.

Ms. Brooks asks, "What does a cow have four of that I have only two of?"

Harry, after a moment: "Legs."

Ms. Brooks: "What is in your pants that you have but I do not have?"

The principal wondered why would she ask such a question!

Harry replied: "Pockets."

Ms. Brooks: "What does a dog do that a man steps into?"

Harry: "Pants."

Ms. Brooks: What starts with a C, ends with a T, is hairy, oval, delicious and contains thin, whitish liquid?"

Harry: "Coconut."

The principal sat forward with his mouth hanging open.

Ms. Brooks: "What goes in hard and pink then comes out soft and sticky?"

The principle's eyes opened really wide and before he could stop the answer, Harry replied, "Bubble gum."

Ms. Brooks: "What does a man do standing up, a woman does sitting down and a dog does on three legs?"

Harry: "Shake hands."

The principal was trembling.

Ms. Brooks: "What word starts with an 'F' and ends in 'K' that means a lot of heat and excitement?"

Harry: "Firetruck."

The principal breathed a sigh of relief and told the teacher, "Put Harry in the fifth-grade, I got the last seven questions wrong.

[Jesse-James]

<a href="http://videos.streetfire.net/vidiac.swf?video=32b07cff-47b5-411d-9717-9b2000cfdf5b&amp;cspid=48e1b8a87f7f90e1" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer" class="bbc_link bbc_flash_disabled new_win">http://videos.streetfire.net/vidiac.swf?video=32b07cff-47b5-411d-9717-9b2000cfdf5b&amp;cspid=48e1b8a87f7f90e1</a>

[Jeffy]

Hey, at least the tow driver got the job done, right?